Though bad thinking and attitudes are not the only sources of marital problems, I believe that a majority of marital troubles can stem from distorted beliefs and perceptions about marriage in general and each other.
At a minimal level, bad thinking and negative attitudes maintain bad feelings regarding your spouse and most certainly can lead to bad decisions and behavior. Here are some classic marriage myths which we need to debunk.
7 marriage myths
Sure, there’s no doubt some behaviors may be from “unthinking habits” we’ve fallen into over the years. You may leave the bathroom in a mess every day without thinking about it. It’s just “part of the routine” right? But if you reflect on that habit you may discover there was a particular thought, belief, or value that led you to the action (or at minimum maintained it).
Maybe you thought something like this: “I did this before I was married, so I should be able to keep on doing it” or “It’s no big deal to me, why should it be a big deal to my spouse?”
The reality is our distorted thinking can lead to consequences much more severe than squabbles over messy bathrooms.
Here are some classic myths which are, sadly, pretty common in most marriages:
- As long as we’re happy, that’s the most important thing.
- I can change my spouse.
- I made a mistake, I didn’t marry my soul mate.
- We are struggling, we are doomed.
- You are supposed to meet my needs.
- Our marriage will never get any better.
- My spouse completes me.
Read those marriage myths again. Take a moment and consider what you should think instead of buying into these myths. Couples who buy into myths like these will probably see them eventually driving their emotions and behavior. In turn, you will experience multitudes of problems like ongoing arguments, hurt feelings, deep resentment, bitter anger, and a host of others. Let’s make sure we debunk these marriage myths!