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3 Secrets To Consider Before Thinking about Divorce


Hopefully, you aren’t thinking about divorce. But odds are good you know someone who might be. I serve a ministry called Grace Marriage, which strives to bring resources that will infuse grace and affection into your marriage as you strive to love one another well. At the same time, we want to be realistic about the state of a lot of marriages right now. 

As an attorney, I practiced family law for several years. During that time, I observed that the immediate struggles and litigation needs often took precedence over the long-term consequences of divorce. While I realize that all cases and situations are different and we have Scripture against divorce, unfortunately, divorce is real for many marriages. I want to share three realities of many divorces to raise awareness and encourage consideration before making this life-altering decision. Here are 3 secrets to consider before thinking about divorce.

We know from Scripture that God hates divorce. Malachi 2:16 (NASB) says, “‘For I hate divorce,’ says the Lord, the God of Israel…” And, we read from Matthew 19:6 (ESV), “So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

However, if you’re reading this, odds are good you may not be the one struggling with divorce—but—you know someone who is. What you’ll find in this post are three realities of many divorces. My aim is to consider these three things before making this life-altering decision.

3 Secrets To Consider Before Thinking about Divorce

Secret 1: Divorce is expensive.

In marriage, you typically have one house, electric, cable, and gas bill. When you divorce, all of a sudden there are two of all of them. This means the expenses almost double, but the income doesn’t. On top of that, you have attorneys’ fees and child support to pay. Divorce is not an easy thing to go through financially.

Secret 2: Sharing your kids with a stranger.

If your spouse remarries and you have kids, it is difficult accepting the reality that a stranger is helping raise your kids. Oftentimes, a step-parent spends more time with the children than the non-custodial parent. One former client shuddered at the thought of another guy kissing his daughter good night.

Secret 3: Loss of time with your children.

A painful reality of divorce is that you’ll spend a lot less time with your children. Pre-divorce, you get to spend every night in the home with your kids. Post-divorce, with modern trends, it’ll likely be half that much.

Remember: Mercy triumphs over judgment and God’s grace is amazing. So, if you’ve been divorced, serve God and thrive where you are—with zero condemnation (Rom. 8:1).

If you are not divorced, invest in your marriage, protect it, grow it, and we pray you never experience crisis or divorce. Maybe you or someone you know is struggling and thinking about divorce right now. Share this post with them to try to help them recognize the harsh realities that could come because of that decision.