My dad has anger issues.
This is what I hear in working with fathers all of the time.
But, here’s the question: Where, When, and with Whom do you get angry? Think about it!
At our men’s conferences, we surveyed over 5000 men regarding their greatest temptations, and 42% of the men surveyed listed anger as one of their top three temptations.
Anger is a big deal. I want you to get passed the whole “my dad has anger issues” thoughts. It is at the root of every kind of abuse – emotional abuse, sexual abuse, mental abuse, physical abuse. Anger alienates those we love and intimidates those we care for. Anger is also a primary male emotion.
God’s Word gives us some direction in dealing with our anger. James 1:19 says, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry”. I think that there is a connection between being slow to speak and slow to become angry. Our speech displays our anger and often gives it fuel to intensify. Proverbs 29:11 says, “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.”
So, back to the original question: Where, When, and with Whom do you get angry?
Most men get angry and lose their temper most often at home, in the evening with members of their family. Does this surprise you? Do you see the same pattern in your life? I know that this is true for me. I often let my guard down when I come home from work. I feel safe at home with those that love me. Part of me feels like my home is my castle and I am the king. This is why I ‘display’ my anger at home. My frustration may have its source at work or in my commute or with some blocked goal that happened earlier in the day. Often there is little connection between my display of anger and whatever is happening in the home.
Let’s ‘debrief’ before we enter our homes at the end of the day. Pull off the side of the road and talk to God about the frustrations that you are feeling. Pull out that cell phone and share with a friend your frustrations. Spend some time in God’s Word and allow Him to heal your emotions. We are in this together. Don’t handle your anger in isolation.
