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December 28, 2023

Why You Should Kiss Your Spouse In Front of The Kids


As the nursery rhyme goes more or less, “First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a kid—or two or three or four—in a baby carriage.” Your marriage may or may not include offspring, now or in the future. But no matter what, you need to know that modeling a healthy marriage relationship has a positive impact on the next generation and beyond.

If you are a mom and dad, your immediate circle of influence is obvious. You have the clear-cut privilege of creating a launch pad for your children and their children. Members of the [fill in your last name here] family are counting on you to establish a nurturing environment and legacy of love and commitment.

Recent studies reveal that children of divorce are going to have a rougher time in life. The following stats are tendencies, not absolutes, so let’s keep our hopes high for young people in
general. But the research is valid.

  • Children of divorce are roughly twice as likely to see their own marriage end in divorce.*
  • Children of divorced parents are roughly two times more likely to drop out of high school.**
  • Children of divorce are at a greater risk of experiencing injury, asthma, headaches, and speech
  • Teenagers in single-parent families and blended families are three times more likely to
    need psychological help.****
  • Seventy percent of long-term prison inmates grew up in broken homes.*****

Flipping those numbers upside down, it seems evident that while unstable marriages drag kids down, mothers and fathers committed to each other for the long haul are giving their children a distinct chance at a more secure and happier life. That idea shouldn’t cause panic or pressure. It’s just a reminder that, statistically, your marriage matters to your kids.

So kudos to you. And congratulations on being committed to your spouse. Just by reading this post, you’re expressing a desire to build something significant that lasts beyond your earthly tenure. Take this opportunity to go a step further.

  • Tell your kids stories about your courtship and romance.
  • Let them know your wedding day was a blessing and your marriage is solid as a rock.
  • Kiss in the kitchen.
  • Do a weekend away once in a while.
  • Secure a lock on your bedroom door.

You don’t have to tell your kids what goes on behind that door. As they get older, they’ll figure it out. Teenagers don’t want to think about such things, but they’ll know. And they’ll be glad.

Question: Do your kids know you love, cherish, and crave each other?

Blessed are those who fear the Lord, who find great delight in his commands. Their children will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed. Wealth and riches are in their
houses, and their righteousness endures forever. —Psalm 112:1-3

*“Divorce begets divorce but not genetically,” Indiana University press release, July 10, 2007, http://news

**Sara McLanahan and Gary Sandefur, Growing Up with a Single Parent: What Hurts, What Helps (Cambridge, MA: Harvard
University Press, 1994);

***Deborah A. Dawson, “Family Structure and Children’s Health and Well-being: Data from the National Health Interview
Survey on Child Health,” Journal of Marriage and the Family 53 (1991): 573 -584; ‘

****Peter Hill, “Recent Advances in Selected Aspects of Adolescent Development,” Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry 34
(January 1993): 69-99;

*****Wade Horn and Andrew Bush, “Fathers, Marriage, and Welfare Reform,” Hudson Institute Executive Briefing
(Indianapolis, IN: Hudson Institute, 1997).

Portions of this post came from Jay Payleitner’s Book  52 Ways To Connect As A Couple