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5 Levels of Friendship as a Husband and Father


Most men are isolated. A recent survey said, “76% of men don’t have a close and trusted friend they can share anything with on any topic.”  That number sounds high because it is.

Even though we are wired for community, men gravitate towards isolation. Proverbs warns against this saying, “Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment” (18:1).

The opposite is also true. When men build a brotherhood, a small huddle of trusted friends who share every aspiration and confess sin, insecurities, doubts, and limitations fall away. There is more strength in the unity of three (Eccl. 4:12).

Think about it: Jesus gathered a handful of men and introduced them to the deepest levels of friendship. He exemplified what it looked like to be real, loyal, honest, and engaged in a committed, purposeful, and consistent huddle. Under Christ’s leadership, a few men spread His movement that changed the world.

Mike Woodruff, pastor and author, says about men and friendship:

  • We are wired for friends
  • Life is better with friends
  • Good friends raise us up
  • When it comes to friends, we must be intentional

Not all of our friendships are the same, and that’s OK. However, knowing the role of the best kind of friendship and knowing your gaps in friendship can make all the difference.

5 Levels of Friendship as a Husband and Father

Here are five levels of friendship, and to reach the highest level, we’ve got to be intentional.

Level 1—Casual Friendship

This is a guy you’ve met and may or may not remember his name.

Level 2—Basic Friendship

You act friendly, barely connect, and speak about the usual stuff on a surface level only.

Level 3—Good Friendship

You’re close enough to joke around and open up a bit. There’s some trust…and some caution. He knows you, but nothing deep or private.

Level 4—Strong Friendship

You trust each other. You’ll talk about meaningful parts of your life. You’re open and honest, but not completely.

Level 5—Deep Friendship

This friendship adds a purposeful commitment to meet and consistently connect. You disclose struggles, pray for each other, confess sins, erase secrets, stay accountable, and pull each other closer to Jesus.

Question: Do you have any Level 5 Friends, any other husbands and dads to help you navigate and improve in those mega-callings? If you desire deep friendship and needed teamwork in life, grab some quick coaching. Download the QuickStart PLAYBOOK.