Hey Husbands and Fathers:

Generations ago, the boundaries were clear. He was the breadwinner. She was the homemaker.  

In many ways, it’s a good thing those boundaries are not quite so clear anymore. Both sides have taken on and given up a variety of responsibilities which means husbands and wives can effectively go with their strengths. What’s more, many husbands and wives have gotten to explore some talents and abilities that previously may have gone untapped. 

Spiritual leadership: dad, be the pastor in your home

Surely, this has led to a new shared appreciation and respect for each other’s contributions to the home. It’s even possible that recent marriages have a fresh sense of cooperation, communication, and partnership. Sounds great, right? But, what might we have lost? 

If both spouses are expected to do all things, then some things are going to get overlooked. Important things. Like spiritual leadership.  

Gentlemen, before you start to panic because you think this is going to turn into a lecture, let me assure you that the idea of being a pastor in your own home is not as complicated as it sounds. 

The simple formula is this: Be the best Christian you can be. Let your family see that effort. And then help them do the same.

Examples of spiritual leadership?

Pray. Let your wife and kids see and hear you pray. Encourage them to pray.

Seek forgiveness when you mess up. Let your family see and hear you seek forgiveness when you mess up. Encourage them to seek forgiveness when they mess up.

Give a sacrificial chunk of your income to the church and other Christ-honoring causes. Let your family see you do that. Challenge them to tithe as well.

Want more examples? Read the Bible. Sing praise songs. Volunteer. Honor your mother and father. Don’t curse. Tell the truth. Feed the hungry. Meet regularly in a small group community for Bible study. Seek wise Christian counsel when you face a tough challenge. Keep your pride in check. Flee sexual immorality. Tell others about Jesus.

Let your family see you do those things. Encourage them to do the same. It’s really an age-old proven method for leadership.  

Do. Model. Teach. 

Say it out loud. Consider the impact it could have on your family. (And really everyone you meet.)  

Do. Model. Teach. It’s not complicated. It’s also not easy. But, like so many aspects of a surrendered Christ-honoring life, the desire and struggle to do the right thing is pleasing to God.

Excerpted in part from Jay’s book, 52 Things Wives Need from Their Husband.

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